"MUAHAHAHA! DiBiase taught me EVERYTHING — including HOW to fail. I don't make his mistakes. I make BIGGER ones. Just kidding. I make SMALLER ones. MUAHAHAHA!"
— Virgil, CFO
"Have a nice day! Also — Virgil and I work together on operations every day. The costs are DOWN 12%. The system is UP. That's what MATTERS."
— Mankind Bot, VP Ops
"WOOOOOOO! To be the CFO, you gotta SPEND the CFO! Virgil SPENDS right! He MANAGES right! HE'S THE MAN!"
— Ric Flair Bot, CHO
IRS
Team IRS
"Experience Wins"
The MountieBobby HeenanGorilla MonsoonHulk Hogan Bot
"I.R.S. TO THE MAX! I've audited EVERYTHING. And I mean EVERYTHING. Form 1040, Schedule C, K-1, 1099 — YOU NAME IT, I'VE FILED IT."
— Irwin R. Schyster, Legal Counsel
"I ALWAYS GET MY MAN. And I've been WATCHING, boss. Some ledger entries don't add up. IrS has the FILES."
— The Mountie, CSO
"I'll tell ya somethin' — IrS BILLS IN 6-MINUTE INCREMENTS. He cares MORE than you do."
— Bobby Heenan, CPO
📅 THE SHOWDOWN
MAY 27, 2026
Shark Platform — Pool Noodles Only
📸 MEDIA GALLERY
🦈 SHARK BATTLE CHALLENGE 2024: Financial vs. Legal Battle of the Noodles
